


We Meet, We Try

by wishtheworst



Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: Coda, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-18
Updated: 2011-07-18
Packaged: 2017-10-21 12:29:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/225175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishtheworst/pseuds/wishtheworst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>The darkness blankets them in stars and cold breeze off the bay, and Nathan tries to calculate what he owes Duke for this balanced against what Duke owes him. It’s never easy with them though Nathan sometimes suspects that it would be if they would let it.</i>  Episode coda for 02x01.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Meet, We Try

It’s almost dark by the time they‘re done, purple sky fading into black out over the water. Nathan’s hands are beat to shit, a faint ragged line of drying blood on the heel of his right hand and reddened fingers. It doesn’t hurt, but in theory it should. He flexes his fingers as if to loosen the stiffness that should be there, open and close with no difference.

Duke has moved away from the grave, probably because he knows Nathan well enough to understand that he has to finish it himself. Once they settled into digging neither of them spoke and the quiet has deepened to silence now, even the distant waves too muffled to really register. The stillness seems as much a part of the clearing as the thick woods surrounding it or the cliffs dropping down to the beach, almost as if it separates this place from the rest of the town and makes it some other, better place. Eventually he has to thank Dave and Vince for this. Right now he can’t trust anything that comes out of his mouth even more than usual. It’s better not to talk to anyone until it passes. Maybe Audrey; she can forgive the ugly sharp things that might come out. And Duke, because neither of them ever cared about offending the other. The worst that can happen is that he turns and walks away, but Nathan can handle that. They’ve both done it enough to prove that it’s a temporary condition. Whatever runs through this town to draw people back has worked its strangling magic on both of them: Duke can’t stay away and Nathan will never leave.

He takes longer than necessary packing the dirt down, taking extra care to flatten the deep brown earth smooth and square the corners. Eventually there is nothing left to perfect, no way to prolong this. His father is buried. Once he leaves this place he won’t come back. Audrey will, Vince and Dave will, but he thinks this will be the last time he comes here. It’s real now, no point in lavishing attention on a cooler filled with what looks like a few dozen chunks of concrete buried deep enough stay warm all winter. In a few years he wouldn’t even be able to pinpoint the grave. If he wanted to.

For a moment he thinks Duke must have left to save them from having to say anything and he’s grateful for it. Instead he sits in the grass at a distance and the line of his shoulders says he’s trying to look as if he’s all but forgotten Nathan is there. It’s always been easy for Nathan to translate the shape of his hands or the line of his mouth, even when he’d rather not.

He sinks down next to Duke at a safe distance, following the angle of his stare out over the last stains of color on the horizon. He examines his hands again, scissoring his fingers as if repetition might make something register eventually. Duke reaches out to take one of them into his own, the one with the already closing cut. He seems to be looking for something there, skimming the lines on Nathan’s palm.

The obligation is the problem, not the gesture. He craves touch even if he can’t feel it. More than that he appreciates the people who keep trying even after they know. Some people shy away from contact to avoid the awkwardness. Duke never has. He and Audrey are the only ones who don’t for the most part. But Nathan never feels he needs to keep a tally with Audrey. With Duke it’s different. The darkness blankets them in stars and cold breeze off the bay, and Nathan tries to calculate what he owes Duke for this balanced against what Duke owes him. It’s never easy with them though Nathan sometimes suspects that it would be if they would let it.

“I didn’t want to go alone,” he says. What he means is thank you.

“I know,” Duke answers, which he means along with you’re welcome. He closes Nathan’s fingers onto his worn hand and releases it, pushing it down onto Nathan’s knee without further comment. There’s nothing keeping them here, with the darkness and the grave and each other, but they wait as if anchored together. It’s always been that way and Nathan reasons that it always will be, each of them unable or unwilling to get out of the other’s shadow. Whatever they are apart, he knows this is inevitable. Like everything else that has happened and everything else that they’re both afraid is coming.

They wait, neither of them sure for what and neither of them inclined to do so alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from "We Meet. We Try. Nothing Happens, But"  
>  _We meet. We try. Nothing happens, but  
>  afterwards we are always embarrassed  
> when we see each other. We look away._


End file.
